Padme's Reflection
by WalkingTheSky
Summary: Padme reflects on the death of her beloved Anakin, and takes the final step into the light of the Force....


****

Padme's Reflection

Padme crashed to the floor with enough pain and anguish to envelop the world.

She was colliding with so many mixed emotions.

Anger, grief, sadness...and shock.

He's dead.

He left me.

Why?

Why would he leave me all alone?

He's a fighter, why didn't he fight? Why didn't he fight?

The man was saying something, she didn't know what.

Her own sobs and screams of grief washed out his words.

Words that never meant anything.

They were taught to say these things, trained.

They never really understood the pain.

Why did he leave like this?

Why so painfully? And so quick?

I know why.

I refuse to acknowledge everything I know.

I don't know how to think.

I don't know what's happening.

Am I dead, too?

Am I dreaming all of this?

Is he still here?

No.

I'm still here.

Still here.

Why?

Why?

Someone help me.

I don't understand.

Why did this happen?

I love him so much.

Why does it hurt so much?

I wish I had died too.

This would be easier.

The man is still talking.

Where's Obi-Wan?

Why isn't he here?

He killed him.

He should be the one to tell me.

I knew it was going to happen.

I had a feeling when I first met Anakin.

I knew something wasn't right.

I knew it the first time I saw him.

The first time his lips touched mine.

When he confessed his love to me, something was wrong.

And I knew it.

Why didn't I see?

He is my soul.

He is my only love.

He is my everything.

But he is also my destroyer.

There is nothing left of me.

What was left, he took with him.

My children are scattered.

I will never see them again.

I know this.

I had to do it.

I had to save them from the monster that had inhabited Anakin.

Anakin.

He died long before his body did.

I know this.

Why don't I believe it?

I don't want to believe it.

I wanted the faerie tale.

I wanted something different.

He loved me.

I loved him.

It was perfect.

But I knew.

Something was coming.

Around the corner, down the street.

Something was coming.

I should have known.

I should have known.

Why didn't I see?

Why is the man still here?

"Leave me."

"Yes, Milady."

I don't know how to feel.

I feel numb.

Why do I feel like this?

I don't want to feel like this.

I knew he was slipping away from me.

I could feel it shortly after we returned from Naboo.

His temper was suddenly short.

He didn't ever tell me where he had been.

His rages were more and more frequent.

Obi-Wan had visited me one day in our apartment.

He wanted to talk about Anakin's strange behavior.

We didn't talk long, for Anakin returned home shortly after Obi-Wan arrived.

He was brief with his words and cold in his manner.

When Obi-Wan left, Anakin was dead silent.

When I asked him what was wrong.

He started to scream.

And his eyes went black.

I've never seen his eyes any other shade than blue.

It frightened me to my core.

At one point, he was going to strike me.

But he didn't.

He was standing right in front of me, and stopped.

His hand mid-air.

His persuasion must have been me.

Cowering and sobbing in the corner of our apartment.

I had never been so frightened in my life.

I knew I was carrying a child.

And I wanted to tell Anakin with every part of me.

But something always stopped me whenever I tried to.

I always got the feeling that it wasn't safe to tell him.

But, all of that's in the past now.

I shouldn't remember the bad times.

I should remember the good.

I wonder if he thought of me when he fell over the edge?

Did he think of his mother?

I wonder if he's with her now.

Or is he in Hell, for the things he's done?

I hope he's all right.

I miss him.

I don't miss what he's been for a year now.

I miss the man he was.

I miss his blue eyes, and boyish looks.

I miss his smile, and laughter.

I miss his embraces.

None of that matters now.

He's dead.

There's no one left to comfort me.

There is only one option left.

Only one.

Padme retrieved Anakin's lightsaber from the drawer in the bedroom.

After Anakin left in the middle of the night, over a year ago, he left his Jedi weapon on the foot of the bed.

Padme had placed it reverently in the night table, silently hoping that he might return to her one day.

She closed her eyes.

Remembering her beautiful angels, who she felt would one day, be a light in the darkness.

"I hope you're waiting for me, my love." She whispered to the gathering darkness that began to surround her in the Naboo suite.

She heard the voice of her long lost love, Anakin. What she didn't know was that his body had been invaded by a power stronger and darker than she had ever imagined. But he was waiting for her, in some form or another.

And with that, Padme closed her eyes once more, and ignited the blue crystal blade.


End file.
